On judgment

When I was in second grade, one of my classmates told me I was going to Hell. I remember the moment vividly. We were on the playground during recess on an unusually hot day in the fall. She was wearing a long, full skirt and tennis shoes that had the Incredible Hulk on them. We were perched on the monkey bars, and she said it like a casual statement of fact. Stunned by her proclamation, all I could think to say was “Why?” “Because you’re wearing shorts,” she said, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. After school that day, I told my mom what the girl said during recess. And she assured me that I […]

No more whine, please

One of my main goals as a parent is to raise non-whiners. It’s not easy. We’re all inclined to whine when things don’t go our way. Babies do it. Toddlers do it. Reality TV stars do it. And increasingly, older kids and grown-ups who really ought to know better do it, too. But it’s obnoxious. And when it’s combined with pouting or feet stomping, it’s downright ugly. Tom and I are pretty strict about it around here, but it’s certainly an ongoing battle. There are some parenting books that tell you to ignore all forms of whining. Act like it’s not even happening, they say. The thinking here is that, if you ignore it and don’t reward the child’s whining […]

The thrill is gone

When we say parenting has its “ups and downs,” sometimes we mean it literally – particularly after spending a weekend at an amusement park with the kids. Some of those “ups” are slow, tension-building climbs to the top of a steep hill followed by “downs” that reach speeds of 90 miles per hour, flip you upside down and zip you through a corkscrew turn with enough G-force to make you regret every lunch you’ve ever eaten. I’m the designated roller coaster parent in our family. Tom will occasionally go on a kiddie ride with our 6-year-old, but, as a general rule, he doesn’t get on anything that moves higher or faster than a standard ladder. He says his stomach won’t […]

Birth of a baker

Finally! I’m about to write a sentence I never thought I’d write: “I cooked something, and it was REALLY good.” Around here I’m known for both my lack of cooking expertise and my disinterest in acquiring any. It’s not something I’m particularly proud of. I wanted to be one of those mothers who could really cook – the kind whose meals become legendary with not only her own children but also her children’s friends, who begin coincidentally stopping by to visit around dinnertime. My mom was one of those mothers. Her mom was one of those mothers. DNA was on my side. But it didn’t pan out. It’s not that I never cook. I do, and I can produce a […]