Dear Mystery Appointment Person, Even though I have no idea who or what you are, I’m sorry. If I left you waiting or wondering why I didn’t do what I must have said I’d do, please know that I didn’t mean to not be in the right place or do that thing we probably talked about – whatever it was. Let me explain. For three days now, I’ve been staring on and off at a note I’d scribbled down on my jumbo-sized “to do” list which sits next to my laptop. It says “THURSDAY – NOON.” That’s all it says. When I wrote it down, I’m sure I knew exactly what it meant. It must have made so much sense […]

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By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3 My favorite humor writer, Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry, is famous for the line “I am not making this up.” He uses it when writing about things that are so absurd that any sane person would assume he’s taking creative liberties with his description when, in fact, the description happens to be ridiculous AND true. I thought of Dave’s famous line when my daughter spotted a toy recently and brought it over to the shopping cart to show me. “Mom, this is kind of weird… and gross,” she said, holding it up for inspection. The toy is called “Poopsy Pets,” and it’s part of the Moxie Girlz line of dolls made […]

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By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3 I’ve heard horror stories about how some spouses constantly butt heads with their in-laws. And I’m lucky because I don’t have those war stories. I love my husband’s family and he loves mine, and we’re blessed to get along the way we do. But there’s one tiny bone of contention between my husband and my mother, and I land squarely in the middle of the debate. Perhaps you can be the judge. The question revolves around the proper loading of a dishwasher, and the issue comes up after we have Sunday lunch together and start the clean-up process. In this corner is my mother, who has never once loaded a truly […]

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By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3 For years, mothers have been expected to wear several hats to get the child-raising job done – cook, nurse, teacher, chauffeur, psychologist, housekeeper, event coordinator and detective. But I had no idea that “administrative assistant” would become such a big part of what I do each week. It turns out that my kids – ages 12, 9 and 7 – need a full-time secretary to handle the reams of paperwork that modern-day child-rearing requires. They bring papers home almost daily that litter the kitchen counter tops until I round them up, fill them out, sign them, attach checks to them and put them back into their corresponding backpacks. I just finished […]

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By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3 If you’d asked me a few months ago if I’m the kind of person who loves sweets, I’d have said no. And even though I didn’t know it at the time, that response would have been a big ol’ lie. I would’ve answered “no” because I’ve always been able to walk right past a bowl of candy without hesitating. Even a plate of cookies won’t break my will. Chocolate fudge? Nope, I can do without it. Upon further investigation, however, it turns out that yes – in fact, I am a raging sugar junkie even though I don’t crave what we traditionally call “sweets.” Here’s the thing: Sweets aren’t just for […]

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