Crash diet for the closet

If you’re not ready to plunge into the traditional New Year’s “get in shape” resolution, I’ve got an idea for how to wade into it (or any big project you’ve been dreading.) Put one of your closets on a diet. I knew exactly which closet in our house most needed an overhaul, so I reluctantly tackled it last week. It had become so bloated with “stuff” over the past few years that I’d stopped opening the closet door. I internally cringed every time I walked by it, knowing that a horror show of clutter had claimed the space. It was like a giant junk drawer, only for things that are too big to fit in a drawer. Do you have […]

Loss during the most wonderful time of the year

Sometimes hard things happen during what’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” About a month ago, it happened to us. As reported in an earlier column, our house is a mishmash of three generations. More than a year ago, my parents moved into an in-law’s apartment we built onto the back of our house. We range in age from 13 to 82. When my folks moved in, they brought their dog, Boots, which only added more four-legged happiness to a home already full of dog toys and one judgmental cat. Boots was a small mixed-breed rescue – solid black with white feet (hence the name) – and his hobbies were eating meals, eating snacks, and sleeping […]

Ice, ice, baby

If I could type this column while wearing fur-lined gloves, I’d do it. I’m guessing the result would be so riddled with typos that my editors would think I’d suffered a stroke. Instead, I type with what feels like chunks of ice attached to my wrists. Winter is a tough time of year for those of us who have perpetually cold hands. My hands – and feet – have been cold for as long as I remember. I’m guessing I have maybe one or two blood vessels running into my hands and feet, and even those seem to be on vacation at least half the time. I asked Dr. Google about this problem, and he tossed out a long list […]

Morning without Mom

I’m still trying to decide how I feel about what happened this morning. On one hand, it was amazing and wonderful. On the other? Surprising and a little bit sad. Here’s how it went down: At 6:30 a.m., I hit the snooze button once. I don’t remember hitting it again but clearly, I did – at least a few times. When I finally surfaced from a coma-like sleep, I glanced at the clock and panicked. It was 7:35 a.m. and the house was completely quiet, which meant my three kids (ages 17, 15 and 12) were definitely going to be late for school. I scrambled out of bed and was just about to sprint down the hallway to wake them […]

The great chase through dreamland

Have you ever woken up in the morning remembering snippets of a dream that make you wonder what’s wrong with your brain? Would a normal brain dream something as bizarre as this, you wonder? I had a dream last week that felt so alarmingly real that I woke up and instantly scanned the bedroom, certain that the creature in the dream had somehow followed me back to the real world. As far as I know, it didn’t. But I’m still looking over my shoulder, just in case. As with most dreams, the details got fuzzy after I woke up. And that’s too bad because I’d love to know the backstory on how the dream got started. But the only vivid […]

Truth in trivia

I’m a self-proclaimed nerd. Always have been. And one of the things most of us nerds have in common is a love of trivia. But trivia is not just frivolous facts. There’s plenty of truth in trivia – valuable lessons to be learned. This week I revisited a fun little trivia book by author David Hoffman that has been sitting on my bookshelf for years. It’s called “I Never Knew That,” and I’ve pulled three examples from it to illustrate this point. Truth: The fuel to keep going sometimes comes from unlikely sources. Have you ever driven with the “low fuel” indicator light on for a little too long? Then you realize you might not have enough left to make […]

A mother with a secret past…

I’m a rule follower. Always have been. I’m that person who – upon counting items in her shopping cart – sees that there are 16 items and promptly leaves the “15 Items or Less” lane. My mattresses still have those annoying “do not remove” tags. So last weekend my three kids were shocked to learn that, years before they came along, their mother was once evicted from her apartment for breaking the rules. Tossed out on my keister for willfully violating the rental agreement. They wanted to hear more about this chapter in my reckless youth, so here it is: I’d just graduated from college and was living in a one-bedroom apartment on the second floor of a small complex. […]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered — I’m Old

Some say life is a complicated journey, but, for the most part, it can be categorized by the type of mail you get. At any given time, your mail carrier knows more about your current life status than most of your cousins do. Here’s how it breaks down: Phase 1: The “Give me a little credit” phase When I turned 18 and moved to college, I got my first mailbox, a tiny metal cube nestled into a row of dozens of other mailboxes in my freshman dorm. I loved this little box because it was mine. Not my mom or dad’s. Just mine. When I opened it, I felt like a bona fide Grown Up doing adult things like leafing […]

To all the products I’ve loved before…

Thirty-four. That’s the number I counted while standing in the shower. As hot water rained down on my hair, I scanned the corner-mounted shower shelves and counted 34 bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face scrub and other various potions – not counting the bar of soap. How many of these products do I use on a normal day? Four. Knowing it has likely been months since the other 30 have been touched, they looked like forlorn rejects from past relationships staring back at me with one pressing question: “Why didn’t it work out?” It’s a hard question to answer, which is why – even in real-life relationships – some people don’t answer it. In modern slang, when someone (without […]

On deadheading and discoveries

The last time Tom and I went to a home improvement store, we bought a container of yellow mums in the garden department. The official start of Fall was only a few weeks away, and that yellow mum looked like sunshine and happiness bursting out of a terracotta pot. For the first two weeks, the yellow mum beamed its cheery sunshine at me every time I took the dogs to the backyard. But a few days ago, it began to change. A few of the blooms wilted and turned an anemic shade of pale yellow followed soon after by a dirty brown. Some even shriveled into dry, blackened corpses. So, I did the thing my mother taught me to do […]