Press zero. I still try it when I call a business and a recorded voice answers. It used to help me skip the recorded blah-blah and connect straight to a human operator. But not anymore.
The creators of phone-based obstacle courses have caught on to the popular press-zero shortcut and replaced it with yet another recorded message. “I’m sorry,” the recorded voice says. “That’s not a valid option.”
These days, pressing zero sends me back to the main menu where I’m asked to “listen to the following, as our menu options have recently changed.” But I’ve been calling this place monthly for over 2 years, and can you guess how many times their menu options have changed? Zero.
But I can tell you what is changing. The old, recorded voices and numbered options we’ve all grown accustomed to are evolving into new, phone-based personalities. I called a company a few weeks ago, and here’s what I heard:
“Hi, Gwen. This is Liam, and I’m a virtual leasing agent. How can I help you today?”
Right away, two things were clear. Number one: Liam knows my name. I didn’t know whether to be impressed, flattered, or a little creeped out. My guess is he got my name from his cousin Derek, the database.
Number two: Liam is not a real person. As he acknowledged during his lightning-fast introduction, Liam is a “virtual” agent. If you look up the word “virtual” in the online dictionary, you’ll see that, when it comes to computers, virtual means “not physically existing… but made by software to appear to do so.”
Liam tried so hard to appear to be real. If I didn’t know better, I’d tell you he works in an open-concept office crowded with other agents because he talks over simulated background noise that includes voices, ringing phones, and general office sounds. (I wonder if Liam and his simulated co-workers are going out for beers after work today.)
But I shouldn’t pick on Liam. He’s just one of a growing population of “AI-powered receptionists.” They might have human-sounding names and job titles, but Liam and his buddies are part of a software system that can simulate “natural” conversations, answer questions, and schedule appointments. They can even remember what you said during previous calls. And if you absolutely insist on talking to a real human, Liam will transfer you to one of those, too.
I’m not criticizing Liam’s abilities. Honestly, he’s capable of doing more than the typical pre-recorded voice system with its boring list of numbered options. Because we’re riding a wave of AI innovation (whether we want to or not), voices like Liam’s will soon be the norm.
A few days after encountering Liam, I called a burger joint to place an order for pick-up, and Liam’s sister must have answered the phone. Sounding “virtually” human, she insisted on taking my order. When pressing zero didn’t work, I gave in and told her what I wanted. I heard some simulated typing noises. (I’ll admit I like the fake typing noises. If I have to talk to a machine, I’d like to imagine that it’s making careful notes about the toppings I want on my burger.) After I ended the call, she texted me an order confirmation, too.
The only thing that bothers me about this spike in simulation is that it’s becoming increasingly harder to tell when we’re talking to a person versus a software system pretending to be human. It doesn’t feel natural to have conversations with machines, and the machines and their creators obviously know this. So they try to make us more comfortable by appearing to be humans working with other humans while using machines typically typed on by humans. It’s the most human-sounding fake thing you’ll ever interact with. Maybe soon they’ll start clearing their simulated throats and sneeze during allergy season, too.
Perhaps one day the pendulum will swing back so far that employing real humans with real human empathy will be viewed as a sign of upgraded, luxury service. Humans will be the element that makes a company stand out amid a sea of slick simulations.
Gwen Rockwood is a syndicated freelance columnist. Email her at gwenrockwood5@gmail.com. Her books are available on Amazon.