How many throws does it take?
If you’re old enough, you may remember a TV commercial that featured a cartoon owl in a tree who answers a little boy’s question: “How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie…
What happened after my spring fling
Sometimes we self-proclaimed “indoorsy” people get seduced by the sunshine of a perfect spring day. Last Sunday was one of those days, and my mom and I felt a magnetic pull to the gardening store…
Press 1 to waste time
I dialed the number and, after a few rings, a recorded voice answered. Recording: “Thank you for calling ABC Clinic. Your call is very important to us.” Me: Is it? If you really felt that…
The brave, middle-aged starfish
Instructor: “Now, wrap the fabric around your wrists and then pull yourself upside down to do the inverted starfish.” Me (inside my head): “Wait… what? Is she serious right now?” I glanced around and saw…
Letter to the college freshmen
Dear College Freshmen, I won’t try to sugarcoat it. Your freshman year sucked. It wasn’t at all what your older friends, the movies or even your parents told you it would be. It was… underwhelming,…
Vaccinated, and it feels so good
Tom: “Is it just me, or does this feel a little like Christmas Eve?” Gwen: “It really does. I guess it makes sense. We’ve been waiting a whole year.” Tom: “It’s weird how excited I…
In love with a big Mac
Our family has grown by 50 furry pounds. His name is Mac, and we’re all in love. We hadn’t planned on adding another dog to the family, but some things are meant to be before…
Birthday cake with a side of sea slugs
I had a birthday this month, and The New York Times gave me a wonderful present. On the day I turned a year older (which in Covid times equals roughly eleven years), the newspaper published…
You’re only as old as your texting speed
Yesterday I watched my 14-year-old daughter text her best friend, and I realized something. Generally speaking, a person’s age is a direct correlation of their texting speed. Like my daughter, I text my friends often,…
Ducks and hand towels
Last night I opened a bathroom drawer to reach in for a clean hand towel. There wasn’t one there. I sighed and shuffled toward the laundry basket in the next room, where the folded towels…