Sleeping Beauty is a lie
Sleep is beautiful. But the physical act of sleeping isn’t. That’s why I roll my eyes during rom-com movies when the man wakes up early (yeah, right) to gaze adoringly at the woman he loves…
Don’t let it bug you
Welcome to the year of the bug. We’re just in time to witness two giant broods of cicadas rising from the ground like a horde of zombie bugs. How many zombie bugs? Definitely billions. But…
Put a name to a fuzzy face
Those yellow-bellied dusty devils are at it again. They’ve launched their annual full-scale attack, and no amount of antihistamines can stop them. If you’re whipping tissues out of the box faster than a Wild West…
The denim debacle
As losses go, this isn’t a big one. I shouldn’t even care. Still, I’m sad about it. It’s hard to accept that the best jeans in my closet – and possibly the world – are…
What to do when you really don’t wanna do the work
I’m lucky that my first professional writing job was in a newsroom because it taught me something important: You don’t need a perfect environment to get work done. You don’t need silence, an organized room,…
Bird on bird violence
Two days ago, while sitting at my desk attempting to be a productive human, a noise broke my focus and nearly broke my window, too. The third “donk” against the glass made me look up…
Goose wisdom
For months now, I’ve been eating breakfast with a goose. He’s not loud or messy and doesn’t even beg for bites of my toast. He’s a low-maintenance goose, and he lives on a magnet I…
We’ve hit some turbulence
Life was at a comfortable cruising altitude, and we were happy to be along for the ride. But then it nosedived, and some unseen force shoved me and my mom into a small room and…
Curse of the Tell-Tale Carrot
One of the side effects of having an English degree is that I remember famous works of literature – but only the weird ones. The one I’m remembering lately is extra creepy. It’s a short…
What we never wanted to find
My mother is radioactive. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her. She’s dozing in a recliner, and the only hint that something is wrong is the sign on the door which reads “Caution: Radioactive…