Tom Cruise made me do it

I’ve learned a lesson this week, and here it is: Sometimes, it’s okay to lower your standards. For the 26 years we’ve been married, I’ve told Tom that we would not become one of those couples who buy a monstrosity of a sofa no matter what “cool” things it could do. I refused to sacrifice beauty for bells and whistles because it shouldn’t be a choice. In a perfect world, all furniture buyers should get both. But alas, we are far from a perfect world. And when Tom convinced me to go furniture shopping a few days after Christmas, I was in a weakened state. Worn out from all the shopping, wrapping, decorating and cooking, I just wanted to sit […]

Midlife math

My husband and I were born five years and two days apart in March. Since it’s birthday season again, here are 52 things I’ve noticed about turning 52. Numbers are not my thing. I struggle to remember the exact age I am during any given year. Has this ever happened to you? My shortcut is to ask Tom how old he is and then subtract five. If Tom isn’t around, I subtract 1973 from the current year and attempt to do the math in my head. But I inevitably screw it up during the “carry the one” part. So, I resort to using the calculator app on my phone. Tom tells me this is the year I turn 52 and […]

Left and right

When our three college kids are home for a visit and we go out to eat, we follow a protocol. We usually ask for a big booth and slide into it in a particular order – with our two left-handed kids sitting together. Over the years, we’ve learned that when a lefty sits to the right of a righty, elbows collide. So, we’ve learned to arrange ourselves to give everyone room to move, no matter which hand holds the fork. I love lefties, partly because I’m the mother of two of them and because the history of left-handedness is so interesting. Only about 10 percent of the human population is left-handed, which means there are more than 700 million left-handed […]

Car twins are everywhere

There are more than 283 million cars in use in the United States. Inside that gigantic number are more than 60 car makers and 1,200 different models. But only about 10 paint colors are used, and more than 70 percent of all those cars are black, white, gray, or silver. What do all these numbers mean? Great question. It’s not something a humble writer allergic to math can answer. I can spell “statistical probability,” but that’s about it. But I know from experience that there’s a near certainty that most of us will have a close encounter with our car’s identical twin. It’s just a matter of when and how. My first “when” happened over a decade ago in an […]

A cure for creative constipation

By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3 The closest I’ve ever come to getting into a physical fight happened when I was five. I sat at a round table coloring pictures alongside a few other Kindergartners. We were told to share the small pile of colors our teacher placed at the table’s center. But then one kid — there’s always that one kid — decided she wanted the red crayon all to herself. She wouldn’t share it even for a few minutes, no matter how much the rest of us needed it. It was the first time I remember feeling what might be described as outrage at social injustice. I stared at my coloring book picture of Rudolph […]

Charlie and Pete, the sequel

The first backyard skirmish between Charlie and Pete happened five years ago on a night with a full moon. Charlie is our beloved beagle mutt who is now 14 years old and missing a few teeth. Pete is a trespassing possum who’s been trying to drive Charlie crazy for years. This puppy-possum war isn’t personal. Charlie and Pete are just doing what dogs and possums do. Possums lurk around at night, sometimes in places where they’re not welcome, and beagles sniff things and bark. If you’ve ever known a beagle or any other hound, you know they have a distinctive bark that’s mixed with a bellowing, baying quality. An experienced beagle parent knows that sound translates to “Come quick. I’ve […]

Give me a minute. I’ll think of it.

Words are hard – much harder than they used to be. It’s a symptom of middle age I hadn’t heard about until it started happening to me. A few more aches and pains? Sure. Crow’s-feet and laugh lines? Okay, fine. But now Father Time is taking my words, too? That’s a step too far. I’m a writer. A certified word nerd. I thought I was safe! This situation is a – um, what’s the word? Disaster. The inability to quickly say the word you’re trying to say has a fancy medical name. It’s called “anomic aphasia.” Some people describe it as a “tip of the tongue” sensation – when you know the thing but can’t say the thing. The experts […]

Do you speak techno-slovakian?

Once every five years or so, we get a new television. Sometimes it’s because we actually need one – like that summer when a lightning strike electrocuted several of our appliances. But most of the time, it’s because Tom starts reading about the incredible picture quality on the newest TV screens, and he just can’t stand it anymore. He needs to see it for himself. It happened again earlier this month. I tagged along to Best Buy to make sure Tom wouldn’t bring home a TV that’s only a half-inch smaller than our entire living room wall. He has always been careful with money and is a shrewd negotiator. But everyone has their weaknesses. And if Tom met a savvy […]

I met him in the newspaper

My favorite character of all time isn’t in a literary novel, a blockbuster movie or a TV show. He is, in fact, a cartoon beagle named Snoopy. I assume you know him, too, right? I met him before I could read. When my brother and I were little, our friend John would often come over on Sunday afternoons. His parents and our parents were friends, and we all went to the same church. We are what I call “heart family.” John was 5 years older than my brother and 12 years older than me, and we adored him partly because he entertained us while our parents were doing boring, grown-up things like mopping and taxes. The first thing John did […]

Powders, patches and potions

This morning, I stirred the white powder into a steaming mug of Earl Gray tea, watching it scatter and swirl like a freshly shaken snow globe until it melted from view. The powder is unflavored, but I added a generous dollop of honey so the tea would feel more like a treat and less like a treatment. But who am I kidding? Lately, everything feels like an attempt to counteract what time is trying to do to me. That white powder is collagen, which I bought because it’s high in protein. Now that I’m in my early 50s, caring about protein is the new job I didn’t apply for but got stuck with anyway. I could walk around all day […]