Something uncomfortable happened after Christmas. It has taken me several weeks to admit it because I already know how it’ll make me sound – shallow, silly, vain. But I’m going to say it because experience has taught me that uncomfortable truths get easier once they’re shared, especially if the other person understands. So here goes. For the first time, when I looked at snapshots of our Christmas celebration, I couldn’t find a single photo of me I liked. Not one. And it wasn’t bad hair, no makeup, dim lighting, or an unflattering outfit. I wish I could blame any or all of those things. But that wasn’t it. The pictures just didn’t look like me – at least the me […]

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The sky is blue, the snow has melted, and the Covid home tests are once again negative. Hallelujah! My family and I have thankfully recovered from the virus, just in time for Valentine’s Day. The only remnant of Covid is a tickling, nagging cough, like respiratory graffiti left behind just to prove it was here. But after getting through this viral kick in the teeth, I’m finally feeling good again and remembering how many things there are to appreciate. I won’t put my favorite people on this list because you have your own list. Love them well. But here’s a list of six things I’m loving this month. (Keep in mind I’m not compensated in any way to love or […]

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Part of me felt like a failure. For nearly two years straight, I tried to make sure it didn’t get us. And then it got us. For a nerd who always wants to do well and follow the rules, getting Covid felt like I’d screwed up after almost two years of effort. But a virus, especially an incredibly contagious one, doesn’t care if you were a good student. It doesn’t check your high school transcript. It just looks for an opportunity and takes it. Simple as that. The only reason we found out the virus was in our house was because our 17-year-old son took a 3-hour nap in the middle of the day and said he was still tired. […]

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Since our oldest son turned 20 last month, I’ve technically completed what’s often called the terrible teens for at least one of our three kids. For the record, it wasn’t terrible. But it was, shall we say, challenging. Enlightening. Humbling. And as with all challenging experiences, I learned things. So, this column is for all my fellow parents of teens (and the alumni parents who’ve lived to tell the tale). Here are my seven not-so-simple rules for parenting teenagers: Remember this phase of life isn’t as easy as it looks. If you judge it strictly by outward appearance, you’ll assume teenagers have it incredibly easy. They sleep late. Many of them have lightning-fast metabolisms that let them eat an insane […]

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There’s good news here at home. Those two gaping holes in the side of our house have been plugged with new living room windows, just in time for January’s cold snap. We keep doing a double-take every time we pass that room as the unexpected sunlight catches our eye. Suddenly the space seems wider, taller. It has an airy feeling it never had before. Our living room is like a face that finally opened its eyes. We can see out. Sunlight can see in. And everyone can see the difference. As frustrating as a home remodeling project can be, this is the part that makes it worth the hassle — when a structural or cosmetic change feels like it was […]

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Do you remember the Where’s Waldo books popular in the late 80s? I had one when I was 14 and found it fun but maddening at the same time. Just in case you were doing more productive things in the late 80s, I’ll give you the basic concept. Waldo (also known as Wally in the British version of the book) is a guy who dresses the same way every day. He likes hiking but prefers to do it in crowded places — not the woods where his distinctive red and white outfit would be easy to spot. The reader’s job is to flip open the book to a double-page spread of an intricately drawn scene (like a crowded beach or […]

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Earlier this week my kids beat me at poker. No money changed hands, other than those colored plastic chips. But the bragging rights will last a while, at least until next year around this time. Our 20-year-old and 17-year-old sons wanted to teach the rest of us how to play Texas Hold ‘em. We ordered cheap pizza and listened to Kenny Rogers song “The Gambler” while we played. One of the Christmas traditions at our house is to open a series of what I call “early gifts.” The process begins a few days before the main event. Early gifts are always family games, so the only surprise is what type of new games we’re going to play. I spend much […]

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Dear Santa, Don’t take this the wrong way. You know I love you. But what I need right now is not new things. It’s help. And correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you have a whole workshop of helpers up there at the North Pole? So, what I’m asking you for this year is to give the following letter to your most helpful elf. You’ll understand why after you read it. Dear Elf, If anyone can understand what I and so many other mothers are feeling right now, it’s Santa’s busiest elf. What I need in these weeks leading up to Christmas is an extra pair of hands, even if they’re small elf-sized hands. I need someone who’s quick […]

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When I woke up this morning, I had one thought circling in my head: “My kid is 20. He’s 20! I am the mother of a human who is 20. How did this happen? Wasn’t I cutting up hotdogs for him five minutes ago?” Then I had a pang of sadness because this is the first time I’m not with my firstborn on his birthday. The invisible umbilical cord stretches nearly three hours away to his college town. Today is a strange sequel to the day Adam turned 10. While he celebrated his double-digit age, I felt panic – faced with the realization that I’d already had more time with him at home than I would have before he left […]

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This morning I took the dogs out and noticed a distinct change from yesterday. The leaves, which had been falling in an occasional sprinkle, have now ramped up to a steady shower. One of the things we love about this little cul-de-sac where we live is that it’s chock full of trees, so fall brings a blizzard of activity. I walked down the driveway and let my feet bulldoze the leaves into little piles, enjoying the loud rustling sound and the way the leaves carpet the lawn in a layer of golden yellow and cocoa brown, pierced with a flash of orange and deep red here and there. When I’m out there, I like to step on the acorns littering […]

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