When a person is harmless, people say things like “Oh, she wouldn’t hurt a fly!” Around here, no one says that about me. They’ve seen me in action, and they know – I’m a stone-cold fly killer. I don’t feel bad about it, and I’m willing to share the secrets of my fly-killing success. Why? Because spring is here, and the weather is finally warming. We’ll raise the windows or linger at an open door. We’ll come and go more often as we enjoy the sunshine, and uninvited flies will sneak inside. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make sure those flies meet the business end of a fly swatter. Step 1: Know your enemy. If […]

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At our house, we’re sensitive to things that go bump in the night (or the day). Because our 16-year-old daughter has epilepsy and has fallen in the past during seizures, Tom and I have ears that are always listening for a possible thump, bump, crash or anything out of the ordinary. Experience has put us on a hair trigger. The only noise we don’t worry much about is barking. We have a Corgi (named Cooper) therefore we have barking – so much barking. Corgis are herding dogs, which means they’ve been instructed by God that they are in charge. All the time. Everywhere. We love our little short-legged boss dog, but he could really learn to shut up now and […]

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I can handle an interruption. I’m a married mother of three and a writer who’s been typing in the nooks and crannies of life for more than 20 years. I practically have a master’s degree in interruption. But the last time it happened? It was weird. Surprising. And maybe even a sign of the times. Let me back up and set the scene. We live in an area booming with new construction, which is great for the local economy but also hell on wheels – literally. In the past year, I’ve had three flats. If I was the paranoid type, I’d swear that stray nails see me coming and fling themselves in the path of my car just to interrupt […]

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As a little kid, I loved the book “The Little Engine That Could.” It was published in the 1930s, and it’s a story about the power of positive thinking. The star of the book – a little blue train engine – realizes that when he “thinks he can,” he chugs up the big hill and saves the day. I, too, am approaching a big hill. In a few weeks, I’m approaching the birthday that marks a person as “over” that proverbial hill. But my problem isn’t with negative thinking. It’s more about no thinking at all. One day last weekend, I got up and wandered down to the kitchen to do the ordinary things – let the dogs out, feed […]

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Ten years ago, I got on a plane and went to Chicago. It took months of planning, but we pulled it off. I spent the weekend with my three best friends from childhood, seeing the sights, eating the food, and celebrating the year we would all turn 40. It was a massive scheduling and logistical feat because our kids were little, and our lives were crammed full of responsibility. But we made it happen, and it was incredible. Two months ago, we were set to do it again – only this time the destination was sunny Florida, and the birthday year is 50. But about four hours before my flight, my dad woke up with only one half of his […]

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Last week, we got a text from my son Jack, who’s away at college for his freshman year. He sent it to our family’s group text which includes his older brother (also away at college), his younger sister (who’s in high school), and Tom and me. The text trail is long, but here’s the portion that made my blood run cold: 8:16 p.m. “We barricaded the doors.” 8:27 p.m. “Reports say they are moving toward our building.” 8:28 p.m. “Hiding under tables.” 8:29 p.m. “Will let you know once it’s done.” When I saw those words on my phone screen, I knew one thing for certain. The only thing scarier than getting texts like these are not getting texts at […]

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Last night we watched the Superbowl. Sometimes, I watch it for funny commercials if I don’t have a favorite team in the matchup. But last night, the ads paled in comparison to the game itself – an epic battle of long passes, incredible catches, daring runs, and even a lucky bounce. It reminded me of the first time someone helped me understand what was so compelling about a simple football game. In high school, I was a baton twirler for our little marching band, so I’d been to plenty of football games. But I never understood it. All I really knew was that I should cheer if our guys ran into the end zone. The rest of it remained a […]

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There are some columns I don’t want to write because it hurts. This is one of them. Last week, my dad died. And I am heartbroken. His name was William, but no one ever called him that, except nurses who were reading the first name listed on his chart. Most people called him Billy. There were plenty of times I heard him introduce himself with this rhyming title: “Billy Rule, meanest kid in school.” But he was the opposite of mean. He had a big, tender heart he sometimes shielded with a tough guy’s outer shell. A handful of people called him “Lightnin’” because that was the nickname he went by on the CB radio decades ago. And it’s the […]

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They say you never forget your first. When it comes to curse words, that’s certainly true for me. But let the record show, I was completely innocent! And I was probably framed by Bette Midler. Let me explain. The year was 1979 and I was an impressionable 6-year-old girl who was already on her way to becoming a word nerd. If there was a new vocabulary lesson in Kindergarten, I was the first one to memorize it. At that time, my parents were 42 and 35 years old — parents to one 13-year-old boy who was fond of fireworks and allergic to doing homework and one 6-year-old girl who was overly sensitive and needlessly nervous. They both worked full time […]

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I like January. I think most mothers do. Sure, it’s the dead of winter and it gets dark ridiculously early, but January has one big thing going for it. It’s the “cool down” period following the high-intensity workout of Christmas. Don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas and everything it symbolizes. I love the twinkling lights, the shiny ribbons, and the cookies (with calories that didn’t count because it was Christmas, thank you very much). But holidays require work. So much work. Christmas requires several months of mental and physical energy for an event – magical as it may be – that’s over in only two days.  But January is different. It’s the post-Christmas coasting period. And it feels so […]

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