Husband, children, dogs, cat, my fellow housemates: Tonight marks the 20th year I’ve come here to report on the State of our Household. I ask that you join me as we lower our iPhones and raise our sights on a more perfect family union. If we all work in the spirit of progress, we can make this a better place to live. But parents and kids must reach across the aisle toward each other to find bipartisan solutions. No more petty bickering about who drank all the milk. Together we can address the challenges that are vital to the innerworkings of our household’s government. First, let us look toward the budget. I know the minors in this household feel that […]

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When we brought our new dog home last summer, I expected the usual trials of raising a puppy – the house-training, the chewing, the short attention span. But I never imagined I’d have trouble giving him a bath. I’d always considered myself somewhat of a professional when it comes to dog hygiene. When I was a kid, I’d always been the one to bathe our family dog. Then as a teenager, I got a job as a dog washer at our town’s grooming salon. I’ll never forget that first day at work. The groomer led me out back to a fenced area and pointed to the largest dog I’d ever seen – a Saint Bernard named Eddie. “Give him a […]

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I have a confession that will make me look supremely uncool. I’m a homebody. It’s not an easy thing to admit in a go-go society where “more is more” and social media favors movers and shakers. But it’s true, and I was probably born this way. Even as a kid, I’d go on sleepovers at a friend’s house and almost always come down with some kind of virus the second I got back home – as if my body was rebelling against the separation from my own bed. One time in middle school, I went on a church youth group mission trip to Mexico, but the bus broke down on the side of the interstate on the way there – […]

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Here in the Rockwood house, we celebrate three birthdays during the month of December. We didn’t plan it that way. It’s just the way it turned out, which adds an additional layer of party and present planning on top of what is already a month crammed full of holiday hoopla. Birthday Number 3: Our youngest kid, Kate, is turning 11 this month, and that’s a good thing because 11 is a great age. Most 11-year-olds are more sweet than snarky. They’re still one year away from 12, which (in my experience) is the age when kids start the heavy eye-rolling as a response to questions. Age 12 is also when they begin to smell like teenagers and talk in memes. […]

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An Open Letter to Good Men: Guys, it must be tough to watch the news lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed there are quite a few schmucks out there tarnishing the “man brand.” Recent headlines make it seem like there aren’t many good men left in the world, especially since so many of those we thought were decent turned out to be imposters. But I know good men like you are out there. Maybe you don’t make splashy headlines but you’re there, quietly doing your work, raising your kids, and honoring the women around you. I imagine it must be infuriating to watch people who claim to be men do things only spoiled teenagers would do and then try to pass […]

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By Gwen Rockwood, newspaper columnist and mama of 3 I just got home from a trip to the Walmart Supercenter, where a kid had just thrown up on the cereal aisle, and that’s not the worst thing that happened. As a mother of three, I’ve seen my share of pukey kids. I gave that fellow mother a look that said, “I feel your pain, sister.” Then I hightailed it to the next aisle. But there was something even more unsettling than the bodily fluids on the floor of Aisle 5. They’ve rearranged my Walmart! I’ve been shopping at this store for nearly a decade. I know this place better than I know some of my own cousins. But now they’ve […]

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I walked into the laundry room and stopped short – as if someone had slapped my face upon entry. “Who did this?” I glared at the white laundry basket stuffed full of clothes sitting in front of the dryer. I turned and bellowed the angry question downstairs, so the guilty party could hear it. “WHO.DID.THIS?” By my location and the tone of my voice, Tom and the kids could tell exactly what “this” I was yelling about. In our house, there are only a few rules I’m strict about. Number 1: Don’t open the door to strangers. Number 2: Don’t call your brother or sister a bad name. And Number 3: Don’t ever take shirts out of the dryer and […]

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When Tom and I started dating 20 years ago, I had to prepare my parents for meeting him. “Tom is great, but he talks funny,” I said. When Tom took me home to meet his folks, he had to do the same thing, saying “You’ll love her, but try not to make fun of her accent.” We were both right. Tom was born and raised in Duluth, Minnesota, although his parents moved to Minneapolis later in life. But Tom wanted me to see the town where he grew up so we visited Duluth one year during a July weekend, when the weather forecaster said it was going to be a real “heat wave.” (The temp never rose above 78 degrees. […]

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A baby’s first Halloween is kind of a big deal, if you ask his or her mama. I can’t remember lots of things – my iTunes password, my kid’s current shoe size, and I occasionally forget my exact age and have to subtract my birth year from the current year just to figure it out. But even though it has been a decade or more since it happened, I can tell you what costumes my three kids wore for their first Halloween. In 2002, my firstborn was a baby frog. I have an adorable picture of him being kissed on the cheek by my co-worker’s baby, who was a baby bumblebee that year. Our middle child wore a little Superman […]

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In the days after the Las Vegas shooting – the deadliest mass shooting in American history – I read an article that details expert advice on what regular people should do if we find ourselves in a situation with an active shooter. After reading it, I hovered my finger over the “share” button as I debated about whether or not to send it to my two oldest kids, ages 15 and 13. These were not the lessons I ever planned on sharing with them. But I also want to do all I can to equip them for an imperfect and sometimes violent world, so I hit the send button. Because of the article’s length and level of detail, I didn’t […]

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