Have you heard the phrase “Mom Brain”? If you’ve been a pregnant woman or have been married or related to one, you’ve probably heard it, said it, or both. Most people use the phrase “Mom Brain” to explain why a pregnant woman or a new mom is scatterbrained, foggy or forgetful. No one uses the term to describe someone at the top of her game, which is why many moms don’t like it. But it turns out that having a mom brain is far more complex than we ever realized. This week I read an article on the University of California at Santa Barbara website about a recently published study documenting the “trajectory of brain changes” during pregnancy and the […]

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You know that little voice in your head that says you’ll do a certain thing when you have “more time”? Perhaps you should tell that voice to be careful what they wish for. Now that Tom and I are empty nesters, there’s no denying we have more time. We’re not shuttling kids to school, signing permission slips, or racing to Walmart at 10pm for a poster board project due tomorrow. Instead, we’re sending buckets of money to three colleges and hoping our undergrads become graduates one day. In the meantime, we’re finally going to get some things done around here. So, we made a list. (Technically, I made the list and wrote Tom’s name next to the stuff I don’t […]

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I thought empty nesting would be more peaceful. But as soon as the kids moved to college last month, a war broke out on the home front. The only “kid” left in the house is an opinionated Corgi with short legs and an ear-splitting bark. Lately, Cooper has decided that – in addition to the Amazon delivery guy – our frail, elderly cat is his mortal enemy, even though the two of them rarely come nose to nose. Percy the Cat prefers to spend her golden years in the sunroom at the back of the house, where she sprawls across shafts of light flooding through the windows. When she’s done sunbathing, she curls up in her bed for a marathon […]

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It has never happened before and will probably never happen again. But it happened once, and it was thrilling. Before I tell you what it was, let me preface this by saying that I’m one of those people who is easily delighted by the little things. An ice-cold Dr. Pepper. Clean sheets day. Three green lights in a row. And my kids grew up watching me celebrate when pulling into the ideal parking space. “Rock star parking!” I’d say as we pulled into a front-row spot at a busy store. But what happened two days ago feels like a fantasy unicorn experience. I drove my mom to see her oncologist in a city three hours away, where the traffic was […]

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Have you ever been grateful you’re not good at something? This year I decided it’s probably best that I’m terrible at selfies. Truly, absolutely awful. But I’m not anti-selfie. I love getting selfies from my college kids because it gives me a glimpse of them in their natural habitats. But when I turn that camera on my own face and then look at the resulting picture, I immediately cringe away, as if I’ve just seen a festering wound. Delete, delete, delete. I don’t have the smartphone skills of a Gen Z kid, so maybe I’m doing it wrong. Somehow, I always end up with crazy eyes and bad angles. My arm isn’t long enough to snap the picture at a […]

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Dear Empty Nesting Professionals, I need answers. Tom and I are new to being parents with no kids in the house, so I want insight from people who have lived through this transition and have stopped crying about it. Here’s the backstory: Last Friday morning, our 20-year-old brought his pillows down from his bedroom and stuffed them into the last remaining nook and cranny in his Mazda. He and his dad had spent the previous night loading his stuff into the car in what looked like an elaborate game of Tetris – moving one box here to slide in another one there and then stacking three more levels on top of it. When they finished, there was barely enough room […]

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There are less than 100 days until the election, which means the next three months will be filled with people yelling about politics on television, radio, and podcasts. There’ll be plenty of furious ALL CAPS typing on social media, too. The issues are important, but all the back-and-forth theatrics are exhausting. Most of us will need coping mechanisms to get through the next few months, and laughter should be at the top of the list. In the northern part of Japan called Yamagata, the local government passed an ordinance encouraging residents to laugh daily. The exact wording of the new rule says people should “make efforts to shape mental and physical health through means such as laughing once a day.” […]

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In most homes, the kitchen is the family’s nerve center, the party place, and the situation room. It’s also where the best stories happen. Here’s what has been cookin’ in ours lately. Oh, burger, where art thou? On July 4th, as six of us buzzed in and out of the kitchen to prep burgers, hot dogs, side dishes and desserts, we were victims of a crime. One minute, we were an average American family about to gather around the backyard grill. The next minute, we’d been robbed. Our middle son, Jack, had just seasoned the ground beef patties and stepped out of the room for what he claims was “just a few seconds.” But that’s all it took. When he […]

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Here’s something that almost never happens: You ask someone, “How are you?” And they respond with this: “I’m in so much pain I don’t know what to do.” But sometimes, that’s the unspoken answer. Those in pain don’t often say it because they know most people wouldn’t know what to do with that uncomfortable truth. So, instead, they follow the script and hit a more pleasant ball back over the conversation net. “I’m okay. How are you?” But they’re not okay, and the people who love them and witness their day-to-day pain aren’t okay either. I’ve been thinking about physical pain for months now. Not because I’m in it. Gratefully, I’m not. But I’ve seen it up close. I’ve seen […]

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If you’ve ever wanted to bite a baby’s tiny foot or put a puppy in your pocket so you can squeeze it all day, you are not a monster. Thanks to scientific research, we now understand why you and I and many others have this strange compulsion to squeeze, bite, and otherwise gobble up adorable human and baby animals. It’s called “cute aggression,” and it’s all about balancing out the big emotions in your brain. If your great Aunt Tilda pinched your cheeks when you were little or hugged you a bit too hard, you should forgive her now. She wasn’t being mean or weird. Her brain was just overwhelmed by your extreme cuteness, and she needed to come down […]

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